I don't have it in me today

I don't have it in me today
Photo by Linus Nylund / Unsplash

I don’t have it in me.

Yesterday morning I woke up with an eagerness to write something for my newsletter. I was off last week, and I wanted to hit the ground running with this week’s issue to make up for it.

Even while I was at work, I would take my spare time to write ideas and outlines down in my Field Notes journal.

Then in the late afternoon, breaking news comes in from a town in Texas called Uvalde. It was another angry white man with a gun killing people. The 19th one in ten days. 19 children and 2 adults were slaughtered yesterday.

For the majority of you, you don’t know why this shooting is too close to home for me. The reason is that my wife, the woman I have been with for over a third of my life, is a middle school teacher. Every year she talks about the shooter drills she has to endure and the simulated sounds they make to “make it more realistic.” Every time a school shooting comes up in the news I become afraid for my wife and her workplace. I am exhausted from hearing about this and angry that nothing is done to try and change things for the better.

I don’t have it in me to write up a long piece about something that interested me today. I just don’t. I am going to put some links to things I had saved this past week and call it a night.

I understand how my writing about this can be construed as making this tragedy about me. Trust me, I understand that criticism, but I am also not interested in ignoring this news as if nothing happened.

The parents of these children are getting their DNA literally swabbed to help identify the victims. I am disgusted, I am devastated, but most of all I am tired of watching this madness happen again and again.

Maybe next week I can talk about something fun or weird online, but today I can’t.

I implore you to contact your congresspeople (write and call) today and demand changes are made.